Years went by and I wrote when I had free time but didn’t think I could make it as an author, especially after traumas blocked my creativity. I believed the haters who said I was stupid and wouldn’t make it as an author; sometimes that nagging voice still irks me.

I began writing again in 2016, when I was dealing with a breakup and confusion about who I was and what I was meant to do. At this time, I had been diagnosed with PTSD, I couldn’t keep or get a job. I couldn’t keep the relationship I wanted and was trying to figure out who I was. Journaling was great, but it didn’t tell the whole story and I had so many different flashbacks, I needed to get some of it out in a cathartic way that was part real, part nightmare rescripting. Now, my fiancé and I are back together and pursuing our own goals while healing. I’m still unable to do a normal job, but that doesn’t mean I can’t share my story with whoever wants to read it.

Why fantasy? What is it about fantasy worlds that inspires you?

Anything is possible in fantasy, and I can create healing powers that exist in my mind that I wish existed outside. I’ve also lived in a fantasy world my whole life. When I was scared as a kid, even into my teenage years, I had imaginary friends that I could call on when I heard a noise. The creaking in the attic was Fred, having the rest of my friends over for a party. I wasn’t invited because I had school or church the next day. Pete was a T-Rex who lived in the woods behind the backyard, protecting and playing with the deer, squirrels, birds, and watching over my family. George was a prankster who liked opening and closing the screen door, which would prompt my mom to yell for one of us to close and lock it. The lock didn’t stay put. Also, in a fantasy world, my father wouldn’t have died from the long-term effects of some stupid military decision—Agent Orange in Vietnam— that so affected his health long after the war was over.

Your friend designed your incredible cover, how did you both come up with the idea for the cover design?

The stars, suns and moons are the light, hidden by the fog that comes with PTSD. The brown eyes were all I could see when I had flashbacks at first, so they were chosen to depict the compulsion powers the antagonist, Carl Arresto, uses on his victims. You’re not meant to see anything else, because if you do, you’re not under his control.

Do you feel your book is similar to any others on the market?

There are similar aspects, for example: both my cousin and I have written about spirit walking even though we hadn’t read each other’s works until after we completed our own. No book is completely original, but I feel I’ve made this book series my own, because the memories in this book are my own.

I’ve been told my characters are unique compared to other works; but as I haven’t read all the books in the world it’s hard to tell.

Who are your favourite authors?

I’ve had many favourites over my life, from Jane Austen to J. R. Tolkien. My favourites by far are Tolkien, Robert Jordan, and J. K. Rowling. There’s a reason their works are so famous; the level of care they put into their worlds comes out in their writing. It’s hard to put their books down, even after reading them many times.

You write about Afghanistan a lot in TSotR, what is it about the country/culture that has so deeply affected you? How long were you there for?

I was a Dari linguist in the military and learned a lot about their cultures and lands while studying the language. I deployed to Afghanistan for just under six months while in the Air Force but had to leave early when my Granny passed away.

I had another six-month deployment in Iraq, as well.  After I separated from the military in 2010, I took some time off and decided I wanted to deploy again; my home life was abusive, and I was too scared to admit what was going on. I became a contractor in 2011, deploying to Bagram again until mid-2012. After being overwhelmed from being around my ex-husband (husband at the time), I needed to escape again, so I deployed with a different company doing the same job in Bagram. That’s where I met my fiancé.

Where did the inspiration for your antagonist, Carl Arresto, come from?

Carl Arresto is a combination of many rapists I’ve known. His name changed somewhat, but his appearance and actions come from the most violent sexual assault I’ve ever experienced. The cruelty in the book is based on the night in question. The nightmares I’ve had since are recovered memories, which I had repressed for over nine years.

The world you’ve created, Derowa, is similar in some ways to earth, was it easier to base your world building loosely around somewhere you were familiar with?

The world is a combination of the real world and the way I see the world when having depersonalization/derealization syndrome issues. I see wavy veils between myself and the world, even inside. I see distorted colours, which range from dim when I am depressed to vivid when I am happy or anxious (sometimes it’s hard to differentiate which feeling is most pronounced).

I’ve been to a lot of places, so I guess it is easier to describe somewhere I’ve been. Yet, I have ideas of ice caves when I’ve never been in them. I imagine wind howling through the caves, and a whisper becomes a scream in the echoes. The chill doesn’t bite, but nips, as we are deep inside the cave. I slip on the ice cave floor; when I laugh, an icicle falls, crashes like cymbals. A hole forms in the cave ceiling, and the sunlight reflects off the ice, forming a prism of every colour. I sigh in relief because beauty is all I see.

In TSotR, Kala grows and manages to defeat many of her personal enemies because she learns to deal with and battle against details from her past which have held her back. TSotR is a book covers topics such as: recovery from abuse and mental illness, but also chauvinism, misogyny, sexism and sexual objectification, why did you feel it was important to cover these topics in your book?

I’m an Empath Warrior in my mind, and my therapist hasn’t called me crazy when I have described myself as such. I feel other people’s emotions, although they feel like my own. These feelings can be so intense I feel I could burst; yet I don’t. Instead, I have chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. Since I’ve begun writing and expressing myself, I feel less guilty about not reporting the events I don’t quite remember but know happened: several rapes and many more decisions I made because I was scared and confused. Instead, perhaps I could shine a light on what it’s like for highly sensitive people who’ve been abused in one way or another, and possibly keep people from staying in abusive situations that will take them years, possibly their whole lives to overcome if they escape. The cruelty of the POW camp is metaphorical for the PTSD healing journey. I’ve faced my demons head-on, but they still fight to hang on, even though I’m in a safe space now.

Why did you initially feel it was important to write under a male pseudonym for this series?

My father’s name was Ernest, and he was the most sincere, trustworthy person I had met until I met my fiancé. My publishing name is Earnest SB Brown, honouring him, myself (SB=Speedball, a nickname my love gave me because my emotions are intense, happy then angry when someone triggers me), and my future last name is Brown. Since speaking with Lesley (www.authorspen.co.uk) and others, I realized yes, writing about rape trauma issues in a male pen name may come off as … icky and creative instead of realistic. I have since changed my pen name to Kara SB Brown—Kara still honours my father, since he helped to name me.

Are you going to include a chapter or excerpt from book two at the end of TSotR?

Yes! The excerpt I chose for the end of tSotR is my first scene in an antagonist’s POV. That was hard for me to do. My stomach churned the whole time I wrote it, but I’m proud of it.

When can we expect the second book to be released?

So far, I’ve written about a third of the first draft. I’m hoping to release the second book a year after the first book, but I need to be patient with my mind. There are many days when I can’t write, but I will keep people updated with my progress via my website’s newsletter. I begin cognitive skills training in February 2021, so that should help with my focus over time.

How can your readers follow you?

Instagram: @earnestsb

Twitter: @KalaSkaggs (I’m still getting the hang of Twitter, more active on Instagram)

Website: https://www.earnestsbbrown.com