Authors are constantly told to trust their reader and essentially this means working out how much your readers need to know at a certain point in the story. More than this, it also refers to the way authors give information and the act of appearing to collude with the reader in order to draw them further into our story.
Therefore, if we overexplain a point or include something that is obvious then we’re overwriting. Overwriting slows the pace of the sory but it also removes the sense of collusion between author and reader. It’s as if you’re telling your reader – I can’t trust your intelligence, or my writing skills, to make this clear and therefore I’m going to spell it out. Just so there’s not doubt as to my intention. The last part of that sentence, ‘so there’s no doubt as to my intention’ is an example of overwriting. The previous part of the sentence essentially says the same thing, the second part is therefore repetition and superfluous. Without it the sentence already makes perfect sense.
Authors and many other creative people may be hampered by imposter syndrome and it’s likely that this is one of the reasons for overwriting.
Another example of overwriting is called ‘body parts in action’ and I will give you an example of this to show how this both slows pace and adds superfluous and unnecessary words to your sentence. Every word in your sentences and story must drive it towards its conclusion and this is one of the reasons why it’s so important to choose visual verbs and to exclude unnecessary adverbs and adjectives, which often destroy the simple purity of a sentence. Anyway, back to that example: Esme jumped to her feet: to her feet are three words, but ask yourself, what else is she going to jump to? So, it’s sufficient to say, Esme jumped up. You might want to add a different verb instead of jumped. When you’re writing, keep thesaurus open and if you’re unsure whether your current verb creates a sufficiently visual image or you want to add a stylistic device, such as rhythm, alliteration, onomatapeia etc. then look at other verb choices. Another verb alongside this also might add to the sense of Esme’s emotional state, for example: startled, Esme jumped up. We’ve still got fewer words than the original ‘overwritten’ version but now we’ve to emotional reaction, which gives us clues to what might happen next and whether this is a scene where Esme could be in a situation of rising conflict or danger.
Short sentences have a number of purposes: they increase pace, they can create a staccato sense of breathlessness in the reader, they let the reader know that something significant is about to happen and, most importantly, they increase reader engagement.
So, when you’re completing your novel/ writing project, always consider what can be removed to retain the sense and mastery of the sentence and to improve it. Consider this sentence for example: Chloe drummed her fingers on the table, her nails beat a staccato rhythm on its battered oak surface. This sentence is visual but it’s quite long. Also we’ve got fingers beating a pattern and her nails too – so there’s unnecessary repetition. Particularly because the reader will want to know why she’s drumming her fingers or to get to the next part of the story. Her drumming fingers tell us that she’s waiting for something or someone and that she’s anxious or annoyed or excited etc. So, from that perspective, the action is useful scene development, but it’s slowed pace. Think about what’s important to add the most visual image to the situation and for character development? Then her nails rather than her fingers gain significance – fewer of us have long nails than have fingers, so we’ve learnt something new about character and we can lose an unnecessary body part in action, together with the repetition and overwriting.
Additionally, consider which creates the most visual image: Chloe drumming her nails or her nails beating a staccato rhythm? Chloe beating a staccato rhythm could suggest she’s admiring her new manicure or trying to draw attention to herself by her actions. Another effect of writing visually is that it draws the reader into the story.
Make it visual enough and they’ll feel they’re in the setting with your characters and then you’ve created an immersive experience for your readers, which should be the aim of all authors.
Going back to Chloe, we can reduce this sentence to: Chloe’s nails beat/ drummed a staccato rhythm on the battered oak table. Beat or drummed or another visual verb become interchangeable, both add to this idea of Chloe’s musical nails. You might want to change the verb for another which better confers Chloe’s emotions and intentions. The sentence though is concise and the overwriting which would otherwise diminish its power is removed.
Happy writing.